In detail, describe your experiences drafting writing projects. And what about revision? What did it look like? What was your process? How did it work for you?
For me my writing drafting process is my own process. First to begin whatever Im writing I lay out the rubric next to me and begin to make an outline of what willbe in my paper. Any questions that I have to answer I write down and briefly list the answer to them, after having all the answers in my outline I would go back to each question and deeply answer them. When finished doing this, it provides me with a simple outline of what will be in my paper and how I could expand my thoughts and ideas from there. After my outline is complete, I begin to draft my paper. Still using the rubric, I begin with my intro and go on to the end of my paper. After the draft is complete, I reread my paper out loud to myself to see if everything flows together and make any changes that I come across. Next, I have some of my peers that I feel comfortable with read my paper and give me any more feedback also they check for any errors in my paper as well just to get other eyes on my paper besides my own. Another source that I ask to read my paper if they had said they would is my professors. Not all do this, but if they mentioned they could or would I reach out to them too. After all the revision is complete from myself and others then I go back and make the changes that I have to make. For me this process is very useful and is my favorite way of going about it. I feel as if I use many people for my revision part of writing and the outline these two important skills really helps me a lot to being my draft and complete my paper.
when I first think of quotations in text I automatically think of a conversation. through out my high school years writing was never my strongest, when thinking back on quotations I have never really used them in a way that I felt really benefitted my paper. “quotations function as a kind of proof of evidence, saying to the readers “look, im not just making this up””. when reading this statement at the very begging of the text I thought to myself, well for me I always just made the quotations up because they really do support and help my writing assignments. After reading this chapter it has really opened up my eyes and I have really learned what the full purpose of using quotations really is. since I was never really taught the proper use of quotations I feel as if thats why I just made them up half the time. I was never taught how to introduce quotations and I was never taught to explain my quotations after just throwing them into my writing. To me I found this chapter very helpful and will use it as a refrence for my paper that we will be working on. The examples of what to do and what not to do will become very useful for the next few weeks.
Journal 4- The end of food
When first reading this in class it really struck me that this idea of Soylent replacing our meals may become a real thing in the near future. It was interesting to see Rhineharts ideas and what he had to say about soylent becoming one of our nutritional substations. The silent replacement is going to provide the nutrition that most people may be lacking when they are in quick hurry, running late, don’t have time to eat, or simply just skip a meal. “people tend to find the taste of Soylent to be familiar”. This “cocaine” looking powder is something that humans could be used to tasting already without even realizing it.
another thing that really got my attention from the very start of the reading was how Rhinehart, a twenty five year old electrical engineer knew so much about nutrition. He was just one of three men living in a small apartment together, they lived off of a diet that most college kids such as me would live off of, quesadillas, Mcdonalds, pizza, corn dogs and ramen. He began to talk about the amino acids and lipids that one needs and just went on from here. my question is why did he take up engineering? why not something with nutrition? further into the reading he continued to wow me with all of his information and options such as how he is not a fan of farms as well as all the time and effort he has put into researching this Soylent product.
After completing this reading it has really opened up my eyes of the things that I am putting into my body but also what other people are putting into their body too. it has made me think about all the foods and drinks that I have been tricked into thinking that where healthy for me. How many other people are thinking the same as me? this is a common thing to do, we see things that say organic or fresh fruits and veggies and automatically think “oh well it must be true then” kind of like how most people do with internet information too. I am truly looking forward to if I will hear this idea of Soylent in the upcoming future. Will this actually become part of our food intake or will it just be pushed to the side?
Entering the conversation chapter in They Say, I Say was very useful to me. In the very beginning of the chapter they kind of grab my attention from the start by making the reading thinking of an activity that we may do very well then he he twists this into how writing is the same thing. “often without consciously realizing it, accomplished writers routinely rely on a stock of established moves that are crucial for communicating sophisticated ideas”. Most writers didn’t just get there amazing writing skills handed to them, they weren’t great writers from the very start. They had to work for it and build the skills so they could keep perfecting each and ever skill to improve more and more. with this being said mostly everyone does this with out even thinking about it in our everyday lives. from the time that we were little, for example walking. This did not just come easy to us, we didn’t just hop up one day and start walking all over the place, we had to do a little very day until we were strong enough and had all the skills we needed.
going on into the chapter another thing that really grabbed my attention was when they say ” many writers use the “they say/ I say” format to challenge standard ways of thinking and thus to stir up controversy”. Before this statement was given in the book they gave us some examples to show us how some famous speeches. when reading the speech in the book and knowing now that the “they say” element was used made me think about how many other famous people we know have actually used this as well but we have never picked up on it. one thing that I really enjoyed about this chapter was the templets that are given all through out it that I can go back and maybe use inside my wiring because for me I know that I do not use this technique. I tend to leave the “Why are you telling me this” part out of all my writings.
With this peer reviewing I found it to be much different then the normal peer reviews that I had been used to. In high school peer review was a big joke. We would pair up with a friend to exchange papers. this peer review would only take about 10 minutes sometimes shorter and half the time there weren’t any comments given other than “good job” or “I thought it was great”. there was really no point of peer reviewing in high school for me because it did not help me at all. But when peer reviewing here it helped me alot, we didn’t just have a class period to read over each others papers. instead we had days to give feed back to one another. the comments given where helpful and in depth. we were able to have feed back from not one but three other people as well.
alot of the comments that I received from my peers where about my thesis and about organization, taking some things out, adding others in and rearranging some ideas into places that they would fit better. big comments where to explain Rhinehart and to introduce him in my into my introduction and all my peers had mentioned how my thesis was not clear. through out my paper there was little comments about how I could explain quotes more and that would help make my paper even stronger. for my peers I gave them the the same comments about explain to the readers more about the quotes that had been in the papers. A big thing with all my peers was to explain the quotes from the personal food essay. unfortunately I could not make it to the in class peer talk but I did meet with one of my peers and he gave me the run down of my paper talking about my quotes and how to improve them and what they didn’t really like about them. Peer reviewing helped my paper so much and I look forward to doing it over and over again.
when reading starting with what others say there was a sentence that really caught my attention on the second page. “a writer needs to indicate clearly not only what his or her thesis is, but also what larger conversation that thesis is responding to”. when writing my paper something that came up in my meeting was about my thesis in my intro and how it was not really there and I was not relating it into a bigger picture, even though out my paper I wasn’t discussing certain things. it was kind of all over the place so hearing this in another way quickly got my attention. another key point that stuck out to me shortly after reading this was the order in which things are said. again, going back to my paper many of my peer comments where about my thesis and how some paragraphs where all over the place. this chapter is very upfront with the point that they want to get across to readers. remembering that we are entering a conversation and have to start with what others are saying will start to introduce our own ideas. For Me this chapter is another learning/teaching lesson. the templates given are templets that I can use in the future and the information given is very useful especially with the writing that we just did
For this assignment I spent the most time revising what my peers comments that they had given me after the peer reviewing process. if I could change one thing about this paper it would be to go even more in depth about the topic of Soylent being discussed through out my paper, I feel like I didn’t want to make make paper any longer than it already was but also didn’t want to take our specific things that people has suggested because I felt as if to me it made my paper stronger. Overall this drafting and revising process is way different then what I did in high school. I had never spent time on more then one draft, for me it was sort of like a one and done process. the peer reviewing was also a different process too, we always gave comments but never fully in depth comments to one another that really helped me and the others around me. for this project I had an approach that it was going to be a piece of cake and it wouldn’t take me long at all. when actually staring the process it was much harder then I expected. my first draft was just a hot mess because honestly I did not put much effort into it. however, for the next draft I feel as if I came out on top and tried the best I could and I am actually happy with the end product. I do say if I was able to have even more time I could easily turn this 6 page paper into an even longer one going way more in-depth with more on Soylent.
On page 4, “today the average American spends a mere 27 minutes a day on food preparation….”. the final sentence in this paragraph suggests that Americans are spending more time with watching cooking tv shows and less time actually cooking the real food themselves. I do not disagree or agree fully with what Pollan is saying. After reading this it opened up my thinking. Yes, I think that the meal preparation and cooking has gone down a very high amount in the last so on years but how does that prove or suggest that this is fully due to watching food on tv? For my understanding there are a list of factors that could go into why people have spent less time on cooking themselves. Single parents aren’t going to have time to take care of the kids, run them around, make sure they have everything they need and make a full on meal from scratch not to mention try to watch the kids while they are making this meal, and im sure they aren’t watching cooking shows instead. However, like I said I do agree with the meal time going down.
The second paragraph that got my attention and I completely agree with, this was the start of “the end of cooking” (reminded me of the end of food a little bit as well), page 14. Its starts out with “if cooking really offers all these satisfactions, then why don’t we do more of it?”. through the paragraph the ideas that come up have to do with money as well as time. “since 1967, we’ve added 167 hours-the equivalent of a months full-time labor”. When looking back into pervious years things where much cheaper and people did not need to work as much, prices have gone up a significant amount therefore people have to work way more then they used to. With working more comes less time through out the day, most of the time this leads to not cooking fully, meaning just making something basic like pasta and canned sauce, or picking up fast food on the way home for your family.
Lastly, on page 19, “Cutler and his colleagues also surveyed cooking patterns across several cultures and found that obesity rates are inversely correlated with the amount of time spent on food preparation”. Once again I do not completely agree but do not disagree either. With food preparation comes the actual meal that you are making. With the choice of making a meal you can make something healthy such as grilled chicken with a nice steamed vegetable or you could make fried chicken with baked mac and cheese with a side of mashed potatoes. These are completely two different meal options, one that’s not so good for you and another that is a little better for you. However, we know that going out to fast food places all the time will lead to obesity, so does more food preparation/eating at home really lead to less obesity or is it just the choice of food and where we choice to get them from really the factor in this?
When starting to read the first two pages of “What’s motivating this writer?” the first two pages talked about having a class discussion. “The discussion that resulted was often halting, as our students struggled to get a handle on the argument, but eventually, after some awkward silences, the class would come up with something…” Through out these next pages they went on about how they changed the idea of how to lead the discussion by asking different questions. They where asking the students to see the argument as a response to some other argument that provoked it. This lead to a change in how students are approaching the reading. For me in high school I was never one to participate in a group discussion after readings we had done in or outside the classroom, I always sat there slient and even when the teacher called on me I was not one to say anything. After coming to college, I participated in the very first discussion and was also one of the first to do so. I feel as if this is because how my professor approached the reading. He wasn’t asking any specific questions, he was asking for our thoughts on the readings which then lead to the discussion.
First off to begin this article caught me by a bit of a surprise for sure. When focusing on food for all of the semester I was going into the thinking it was just another food article we would be reading/listening to but clearly I was very wrong. When listening to this podcast one thing that caught my attention right away was Doughtys honesty. She brings up that we have been so hidden from death in our culture and it is very hard to talk about death in the open while being honest too. With this being said I feel like it is not easy for everyone to just come right out and be 100% honest with one another about how they are feeling about death or how they may be dealing with a certain death. One opinion that I hold very close to me is one about emotions, I feel as if a person doesn’t want to talk about what they are feeling about a certain situation or about anything in general they do not need to express that to anyone but them self. For example Doughty talks about cremating the bodys a very good amount in this podcast and to her that is easy to talk about because that is her job, its what she does, but to us that’s not something that we would probably bring up to others because we aren’t familiar with dealing and talking about that. Going into bringing that up she said a statement alone the lines of “jumping right into the honest talk”, this honest talk is good and I agree with that but you cannot just expect individuals to jump right out and talk about death when that may be really unfamiliar to talk about or you don’t know there history with facing that topic.
After highlighting the different texts I used through out my paper it had made me realize a few things. when starting out my writing I focused mainly on the Pollan article, Out of the kitchen, On to the Couch, for the first two paragraphs but did not tie it into my peers favorite meal essays at all. Going on with my paper I had also noticed that I tend to use the texts in there own paragraphs and not tie them back into each other. I feel like if I would have tied all the articles together that It could have made my paper much more stronger. Another thing that I noticed was for some of the peers essay I used either one or two quotes but when looking back to Pollans article I got really into that text. For me I think I could have worked better on using each article more evenly through out my paper because that could have made it stronger overall.
What The Crow Knows was another interesting article to read, it made me think a lot about what project 3 is going to be based off of considering we just listened to a pod cast about death now we are reading about consciousness within animals. Through out the article I noticed that there was more than just one story to this. With in this one article there were about three different major points that where touched upon but they all tied back to one another in some sort of way. Another thing that I noticed was the use of repetition throughout it the article too.
This article mainly was a learning lesson for me, it taught me things that I had not known before about many animals especially birds. Consciousness had always been something had for me to understand when going in depth about it, but I thought humans were the only ones with this conscious. When reading along it struck me by surprise how similar crows and fish are to us humans. It also was hard for me to believe this, to me some of these thoughts just sounded crazy, to crazy to believe.
After reading Animals Like usthere was many things that had come up throughout the article, things I had agreed with and things not so much. Herzog expressed many of his beliefs to us but had come to a stopping point of how he is, “conflicted about our ethical obligations to animals” as well as ultimately failing to find common ground with animal rights.
On the very last page, second to last paragraph and the very last paragraph, a very strong point came up that really brought everything together for me to understand. It talks about the ethical territory being the “troubled middle”, which I for sure strongly agree with this. We also see the world in grey, not in just black and white. this grey is blurry, such as an individual may eat meat but also think about the animal such as if its an animal that has lived a long life, was treated well and died of natural causes then so be it. why not eat it? But if we are going to a restaurant and ordering veal, a baby cow, that just not something I would do but this is the grey that we are experiencing.
This brings me to another big point in this article about the cats and the snakes. Yes, cats and snakes both eat live things but we cant control what the cats eat where as the snakes only eat meat, cats have cat food. In the paragraph starting off “so, pet cats cause havoc” brings up a point about how cats consume about 50 pounds of meat in a year and yet snakes only consume less than 5 pounds. There is more about cats then just consuming this meat that Herzog fails to bring up. There are indoor cats who only stay in side and fed cat food, why isn’t that brought up? It seems as if cats are trying to be thrown under the bus here, and it was even said that cat population is far higher then this snake population so how are the statistic run here? Again going back to seeing the world in grey, there is always an in between.
Lastly adding on to the way in which we see the world in grey as well as the ethics and finding common ground with this topic in animals, there comes a point that is far to extreme in which I at least think. Towards the beginning of this article, Carolyn, she gets so attached to this animal that she is leaving vacations, and even picking this animal over her husband. Again yes, people have different morals and go by different beliefs but when does this come to an extreme. When we start trying to marry these animals over real life humans? Herzog has many points and I could not agree more with him that we will never find a common ground with this topic.
After rereading Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace as well as rereading my first journal I am kind of stuck in the middle as Hal Herzog had mentioned in Animals like us. when writing my first journal i really did not talk to much about actually considering the lobster. After going through the semester and reading all the different articles about food and considering our animals, I am in the middle with all these thoughts and I don’t think that I will ever be set on a particular answer. As in animals like us, most people are conflicted about this topic and I believe that it will always be like that and no matter what we do no one will come to find out what is right and what is wrong.
when reading they say I say, planting a Naysayer in Your Text, I find it very repetitive like the other chapters that we have read. Each chapter is set up the exact way with the text followed by pictures trying to get the point across then with templets and it just keeps repeating. yes this isn’t the point of the chapters but it is just something that I do not enjoy about this book, although it is useful it just gets really boring to read in this way.
now going into the actual text of this chapter, the idea of planting a naysayer into your text while writing is something that I have not really thought about. I am familiar with some of these ways to incorporate a naysayer into my text. I feel as if I go about this a little bit in my own sort of ways. Something that really drew my attention in when reading this was in the beginning of the text. “it suggest that even through most of us are upset at the idea of someone criticizing our work, such criticism can actually work to our advantage”. this is something that just made me think, every time I have to reflect on something I read for a journal I feel like I always say this but it is true. I think about these things but never deeply think about it, if that makes sense. so many points are talked about that I have also thought about but not much until I really am Into the text.
After reading this paragraph where Foer explains to us what is lost after not eating meat and what is gained though this, a strong connection popped up into my head when thinking about the family aspect with these foods. He explains to us that with not eating meat he no longer gets to experience the memories he had with family meals being shared when eating meat. These memories are also something that I share with my family, almost every meal that holds a significant memory in me involves meat. He then proceeds to talk about this forgetfulness that is now coming up because those foods are no longer a meal being shared among one another seeing as those foods are now gone. He then starts to look at this idea of forgetfulness as a worth of accepting. Although I do not agree with this, Foer is looking at this as a way to lose certain memories and values but also find other handles for the memories that will help him. But in the end giving up meat means giving up many good sources of nutrients for your body that an individual needs. Yes you can gain this from many other things such as beans but it just is not the same.
This idea of what is right and what is wrong is never going to be set in stone on one correct answer. But this question of why a horny person doesn’t rape an animal is just far to extreme. Any sane person would agree that this is just not morally correct for one individual to do. But why does that question come up back into the idea of eating meat. I don’t understand what is being asked. We liv e in a place where eating meat is something that we do on the daily. We don’t think about where this meat Is coming from, how it was killed, how it was treated, we just don’t. but we also don’t raise any attention to the plants that we eat or the trees that we are cutting down to make houses and paper. All the animals that we are destroying homes to in this process of making new homes or buildings, but why isn’t that being talked about as much as eating meat is? It’s the circle of life, no one will ever be satisfied with this idea of is meat eating right or wrong, people need to survive and that is what is being done.
For this final project of the semester I have been writing mostly the same with a few things that I have done differently here and there. One thing that is different is the time that I am writing. Normally for my other projects I would go into the commons and write and I would get all my other homework done there too. I would be up there from the time I got out of class until I was all finished, with the exception of dinner. Sometimes I would be there from 3:30 until 10, no matter what it took I wasn’t leaving until everything was done. For this project and for my new approach on homework, I have spaced everything out. I have a set time for when I am going to do homework, take a break, eat dinner, go to the gym and to write. I have stopped looking at writing as homework and now look at it as expressing my ideas. With that being said for this process I have been writing before I go to bed, or just before I watch Netflix and I have found that doing this im not thinking about the next homework assignment but im just writing in the moment. I have found that taking the time to write in a comfortable quiet spot in my room is something that I believe has helped me. although this is more comfortable, I do face a challenge of how I am going to work all these articles into my paper. There are so many ways that I could approach this, but I feel as if im just writing and waiting to see where the paper brings me.
For my first two papers I had a set point of where I was going, I knew what I wanted to talk about and I knew how to approach it. with paper 3 I feel like this is not the case. When frist getting this final project I thought it was going to be much more easy than the last two papers but when really getting into it and unpacking these idea it ended up being a lot harder for me. another thing that is hard going into the final paper was thinking about my grades on the last two paper, exactly the same. So being frustrated with the grades as well as trying to improve on this last paper, which is hard for me to write is something interesting and could be a good thing or a bad thing. For the actual writing process I feel like the 300 meaningful words going along with 500 then 1000 is really pushing me to think about what I am writing about. For my other papers the first deadline for the draft was not really good. So doing the thoughtful words gives me time to write and go back and revise before the actual full draft.
For my peer review my peers really gave me some good feedback, I would say they tore apart my paper in a good way. Now I knew going into it, it was ok, I wouldn’t call it trash on a piece of paper but it wasn’t perfection. Another thing going into it, my draft wasn’t fully done so after getting feedback it was good going back into things knowing that it was still a draft not fully done so I could add or take out a bunch of things. with that I wasn’t expecting to add, replace, move around and rewrite all the things that I did. After going back into my draft I added so many things. I basically tore every paragraph apart that I had written and even thing seems completely different as if I wrote a entire new paper. I also made new paragraphs along the way and got more ideas from what my peers had suggested. One thing that I found different with this revision is when revising I had all my other papers next to me and I kept referring to your previous comments and how I could improve on this paper as well. Going into the final draft on Wednesday I do feel really confident with my work, this process was the best out of the three projects so far I believe.